Made Up Me
by SuperGirlOnToast
Summary: Drew Tanaka has a secret. She can write poetry. But she's not sure why she wants to. After all, it was writing things down that started this off...


**A/N: This is dedicated to justrockzyxxx. Thank you for reviewing every chapter just as it came out and giving me confidence to keep writig.**

_Sitting at my mirror,  
__Staring at my face,  
__Plaster on my warpaint,  
__So nothing's out of place._

_First I start with cover-up,  
__Cover up my lies,  
__Then apply the colour  
__To the shadows on my eyes._

_Outline the lips with liner,  
__So nobody hears their words,  
__Gloss them over with sparkle,  
__And their meaning starts to blur._

_Curl my lashes,  
__The curtains to the soul,  
__Pity that they can't see,  
__That inside me, there's a gaping hole._

_Mascara caked on top of them,  
__To blot out the true meanings,  
__They can try and empathise,  
__But I won't tell my feelings._

_Must have concealer,  
__The foundation of the truth,  
__They may guess, but I'll not confess,  
__And they'll never have the proof._

_Paint my talons red,  
__The red of blood and deceit,  
__Just ignore the fear of the whispers I'll hear,  
__When I walk down the street._

_While I perfect the visage,  
J__ust after I wake up,  
__No one sees the girl who's me,  
__Just the person I make up._

Drew looked down at the crumpled paper in her hand. Had she really written that? It was good. Not as good as some other peoples she had seen over the years, but nothing to be laughed at. How had she even got the idea of writing down her thoughts? She wasn't the kind of person to write stuff, not after the _incident_.

* * *

_Drew sat in her room, holding the hot pink pillow and clutching it to her chest. There were pieces of paper stuffed inside. Her pieces of paper. Her secrets. She had been stuffing them inside for years, her hopes, her desires, her fears. All inside this great big ball of fluff. A yellowing piece dropped out._

**_I am scared that Daddy will stop loving me when Karmella has her baby. He says it will be the same but it won't._**

_How long ago that was. Five years ago. Then Diana had been born and everything had changed. She was an innsufferable, stupid, annoying little brat who got away with everythinng. And to make it worse, Karmella wasn't around anymore. She had been pretty cool. She had shown Drew how to put eyeliner on, but one day she just wasn't there. She had heard them arguing about "miscarriage". Justin walked in. My despisable older brother. He laughed. "What's this, Drew? Your diary?" He grabbed it from her and shook it, the paper falling like snowflakes. He grabbed a few._

**_I think Karmella is leaving. Daddy told her to "Get out and go back to the bastard she's been sleeping around with." I'm scared. Will he tell me to get out too?_**

_"Aw, is little Drew scared?" He smirked. "Let's read some more." _

_"No!" She yelled, throwing herself protectively over them. No more. He musn't read anymore. He might read some about him. And then he would get angry. "Your way then." He walked out. She jumped up and slammed her door. She had got out. But she wouldn't forever. She had to get out before they read her secrets. She put the cushion into a rucksack, and wandered towards the park. When she finally arrived, after dodging many cars and bikes that may have held friends of her dads, she looked down at the dark waters of the pond. She took out the cushion and shook it, letting thne secrets pour into the water. Then she saw something that wasn't a piece of paper. It was too glossy, like a photo. Drew's left arm darted out and grabbed it. There was a woman, with aurburn hair and green eyes, trying to duck away from the camera, laughing. Then she saw the writing, pencilled lightly on the back. _

**_Jasmine the day before I asked her to marry me._**

_Then some more, more scruffily penciled._

**_Jasmine, the day before she died._**

_Drew looked down. Jasmine? Her mother? How had she got this?_

* * *

Jasmine was Aphrodites alter ego. Jasmine de la Cour. She hadn't really died. The Gods just needed a cover story to get her away from Drew's father, she knew that, and this time it was different from all her other humans, because, Aphroditie wanted to stay. She had discovered she liked the city life, and she enjoyed her cover story. Young model from New York. So Zeuz arranged for a car crash. Nobody was hurt. But if Aphroditie wanted to keep her cover story up, then she had to give up Drew's father. And so she did.

Piper walked in. That girl hated her for some reason. Drew wouldn't pretend not to know why. She knew she was a tyrant. She revelled in it. Now she finally had power over someone like her brother had had power over her. And now it had all been snatched away from her. "Hey, Drew. What are you doing?" She tried to grab the paper that she had written the poem on. Drew instinctively snatched it. Piper put her hands up in mock surrender. "No problem, Drewster. Writing up your diary?" She grinned, and the others laughed. Drew grabbed some paper and stormed out.

* * *

_They think they know me all so well,  
But behind this mask I secretly dwell.  
I hide my thoughts, my feelings too,  
I hide so well from all of you._

_I smile away the tears that fall,_  
_I show no sign of weakness at all._  
_I hide behind an empty screen,_  
_I'm different inside, not what I seem._

_I hide me well, every day,_  
_Forever in disguise I'll stay._  
_I'll smile away the tears that fall,_  
_I'll show no sign of weakness at all._

_I was once sad and lonely,_  
_Having nobody to comfort me,_  
_So I wore a mask that always smiled;_  
_To hide my feelings behind a lie._

_Before long, I had many friends;_  
_With my mask, I was one of them._  
_But deep inside, I still felt empty,_  
_Like I was missing a part of me._

_Nobody could hear my cries at night_  
_For I designed my mask to hide the lies._  
_Nobody could see the pain I was feeling_  
_For I designed my mask to be laughing._

_Behind all the smiles were the tears_  
_And behind all the comfort were the fears._  
_Everything you think you see,_  
_Wasn't everything there was to me._

_Day by day,_  
_I was slowly dying._  
_I couldn't go on,_  
_There was something missing.._

_My hurt and tears get locked away,_  
_And forever behind this mask they'll stay._  
_No matter how hard they try to escape,_  
_I'll hide away all my mistakes._

_Until now I'm still searching_  
_For the thing that'll stop my crying._  
_For someone who'll erase my fears,_  
_For the person who'll wipe my tears._

_But till then I'll keep on smiling._  
_Hiding behind this mask I'm wearing._  
_Hoping one day I can smile,_  
_Till then, I'll be here.. waiting._


End file.
